James Naismith ain't got shit on Dr. James Crow..

I'm in the posting spirit because Nate got the awards up on time. Because I'm a piece of shit and never look up stats for my two-cents, I figured I'd hand out some awards:

NBA's Natural Disaster: Amare Stoudemire

A natural disaster is not classified as such until it havocs itself on a community. Well the Suns played three games this week and STAT didn't disappoint. His team went 2-1 for the week and Amare was an influential piece. In games versus Washington, Seattle, and New Orleans he posted averages of 30 ppg, 14 rpg, 3 bpg, 97% ft and 51% fg. AND he hit 50% from distance. I love me some STAT.

The "I'm Not Even The Best NBA Prospect On My Own Team Award": DJ White

Playing "White" should no longer be an adjective for my playing style. People might get confused and think I averaged 18 ppg, 9.7 rpg and a block for the top 15 Indiana Hoosiers (I did have 19 and 16 in intramurals...don't sleep). His team also went 2-1, with its only loss coming at the hands of Wisconsin and their coach who does the "Soulja Boi". With his mid-high socks and tall tee, how could you not have a man crush on the future NBA first rounder? Eric Gordon gets the shine, but don't front on the guy who is gettin dirty.

The "Nate's Posts About My Scoring Pisses Me Off Award": Al Horford

Thank God no one reads our blog (although we do have a couple comments these days), because Al Horford and his 6-10, 260 lb body would smash Nate into the ground. So what if he shot 32% from the field last week? He averaged 10 boards a game this past week and is an intimidating player in the paint for the Hawks. They went winless (0-3), but Big Al gave the fans something to cheer about. Oh, he averaged 9.6 points last week.

"He Was Just A Freshman"

So I'm looking at Scout.com's POW awards, and one stood out. One, because I didn't have a clue who he was and two, because he plays for a surprising Ole Miss team. Chris Warren might be called "Christ" (I'm going to hell) if he increases his numbers in his tenure with the Rebels. The 5-10 guard averaged 14 ppg and 5.3 apg for a team that went 2-1. If you didn't know, now you know.

Internationally Known: Patrick "Patty" Mills aka "Makes the Dope (St. Mary's) Gaels Go Crazy"

I have never seen the dude play, but when his name came up Nate and the author of "False Floss" draw enough wood to put 84 Lumber out of business. I did some investigating, and the Australian freshman averaged 14 points over a three game WAC tour. His team went 3-0 including a win over perennial WAC favorite Gonzaga (including 13-18 free throws). If he would have scored in the last game, his scoring average would've been higher. Now Patty doesn't have to go into depression for being a St. Mary's player without an award.


-ML


EDIT by NM: I must say that Lamanna did an impressive job of spelling Stoudemire. You may have noticed that I copped out in the Olympic post and just used "Amare". In terms of the awards good shit in my opinion. However, for the award that DJ earned you have to consider about 90 percent of the Kansas Jayhawks. Lastly, I just felt that it was important that the fans know that Patty Mills' other nickname is the "Canberra Cannon". Some say it is because he is a scorer from Canberra, Australia. I think it's because he railroads a ton of girls at St. Mary's. Next week we might actually post all of the awards together.

"Shoot the J, Bitch"