The West is the Mutha F'n Realest

So PnR straight up shit the bed on Final Four coverage..... we were too busy beating off to Becky Hammon and selling our video games in order to go to the liquor store (true story, but you know we kept NBA Live). Congrats to Kansas for their victory and we don't blame Memphis for not fouling, because hardly anyone fouls in that situation. We have a feeling that people are going to start fouling now though. Anyway, now it's about the guys who get paid twice as much and try half as hard. Actually, that statement used to be true, but for some reason NBA players are trying hard again (and college players are probably making as much as their NBA counterparts both in cash and white girls). Here is the West in a nutshell.

I'm not going to preview that matchups like Lamanna did, because they are going to change before the playoffs start. New Orleans and San Antonio both have 5 games left, while everyone else has 4. Denver and Golden State have the same record, but Denver is currently sitting in 8th because of the tiebreaker. The NBA tiebreaker is an interesting thing, it takes into account how many illegitimate children each team has fathered, home attendance, and how many times each team has said the "F" word in interviews. If things are still tied then they go with the team that won the season series. If that still leads to a tie then Allen Iverson and Baron Davis play one on one. Now that we sorted out the tiebreaker scenario we have to mention that PnR is praying that somehow both teams get into the playoffs. Sadly that isn't likely.

Here are rankings 9-1 as to who is most likely to represent the West. 1 Being the team most likely to get to the finals.

9. Houston- T Mac in the playoffs is like Eric Fudala at a country concert..... it just isn't met to be.

8. Denver- Better chance of Melo, AI, and George Karl fighting to the death than of this team playing defense.

7. Golden State- Not bad to be ranked 7th considering that if the playoffs started today they wouldn't even be in.

6. Dallas- After watching the NCAA Tournament with Big Ted (my father) he announced that he thought Roy Hibbert of Georgetown was "a gay". Does that have anything to do with Dallas? Hell no, but after seeing pics of drunk Dirk one could guess that he may be "a gay" as well. Also, he has choked in the playoffs before. Honestly, I should give this team more of a shot, but I'm too busy facebook stalking to care.

5. New Orleans- CP3 and the boys are still too young and still one player away.

4. Utah- Old white men everywhere cry when Jerry Sloan's guys get bounced. LeBron cries because the Cavs messed up the signing of Carlos Boozer. Deron Williams still gets his name mispronounced. Really, nobody wins when Utah is involved.

3. Phoenix- Before game 3 of the Western Finals Shaq will eat Amare's hamburger. Both guys will get into a fight and punch each other out. Team chemistry is never the same and the Suns will fall.

2. San Antonio- Is this the year they get old and die? We sure hope, but we doubt it. This is just wishful thinking.

1. Los Angeles- This is wishful thinking as well. Hopefully Kobe and the kids set up a dream finals with either Boston or the LeBron's.

Awards n Shit:

MVP: KB24, CP3 is a close second.

Best Beard: Baron Davis, no contest.

Coach of the Year: Byron Scott, although you could make the case that CP3 is as much of a coach as he is.

Rookie of the Year: TIE, Kevin Durant and Luis Scola. Without Scola after Yao went down Houston would be in trouble. Without Kevin Durant Seattle would be in the WNBA.

Defensive Player of the Year: Awarding a defensive player of the year is like awarding something stupid, like best pick-setter. I don't believe in that.

Most Improved: Monta Ellis, I'm sure someone deserves this over Ellis, but I'm too lazy to give a shit.

Shocker: The Sonics are going to win the lottery instead of Miami and draft Derrick Rose instead of Mike Beasley.

I'm gonna have a few beers and go to night class.

Nate Loves the kids,

-PnR